


Middle of Somewhere.

by jaykneepee



Category: Hamilton - Fandom
Genre: Alexander Hamilton is a fan boy, Baby Frances Laurens, John Laurens has depression, John Laurens is an singer, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-14 17:44:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21019736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaykneepee/pseuds/jaykneepee
Summary: A young fan named, Alexander Hamilton learns more about his favorite artist and his dark side.





	1. Middle of Somewhere.

_Tryna stay out... Tryna stay out of my head... Tryna stay out...___

_ __ _

Alexander Hamilton listened to John Lauren’s new single.

_ __ _

So? Do you like it? Margarita Peggy Schuyler asked her best friend. The two were really great friends. Peggy helped Alex date her older sister, Elizabeth but it didn’t lasted for too long. The two couldn’t even talk on their date.

_ __ _

Of course! I like every song from him! Alexander told her and sat up.

_ __ _

Peggy was painting her nails as the two continued to talk, Of course. You literally read those fanfictions, watch every interview and stalk him on social media. On top of that, you literally cut out magazines of him and glue them to your bedroom wall. She rolled her eyes as she coated a layer of yellow nail polish onto her nail.

_ __ _

Not my fault, he’s hot. Alexander murmured.

_ __ _

You literally know everything about him! You can just make a biography on him. Peggy loudly laughed.

_ __ _

I wish but do you think he has abs? Alex asked her and the girl just shrugged in response, I don’t fucking know.

_ __ _

Enough of your obsession with Mr. John Laurens- What’re you doing for your birthday? Peggy asked him, Want your nails painted?

_ __ _

Oh! Um, probably nothing. I think. I’m just going to stay in and watch the snowfall. And sure. Alexander answered. Peggy held his hand, You’re kidding, right? You’re turning 21! You can now drink! Lucky bastard, what color?

_ __ _

Hm... That azure blue color. Alexander pointed.

_ __ _

Why?

_ __ _

Because it’s John Laurens’ favorite color.

_ __ _

Sometimes I want to punch you on the face.

_ __ _

Jack, your last single was dreadful. Henry Laurens sighed as he talked with his son.

_ __ _

Sorry, sir. I will do better next time.

_ __ _

You have to do better next time. Your fans look up to you. You can’t make any mistakes.Henry rolled his eyes.

_ __ _

Right.

_ __ _

They made you who you are today. Don’t disappoint your fans and your mother, son. He told his son as he wrote something down.

_ __ _

Yes, sir.

_ __ _

Leave. I’m tired of seeing you.

_ __ _

John Laurens got up from his seat and left his father’s office. He let out a sigh and rubbed the back of his head.

_ __ _

The singer was tired. Tired of everything. He would rather stay next to his mother’s grave and watch the beauty of nature with her. He would if he could but he wanted to continue her legacy.

_ __ _

His mother was a famous artist. She studied the arts of music in Europe. She loved the sounds of music and nature. She taught John how to play the piano and music. He followed her footsteps. He loved it as a kid but after she died, his father became greedy.

_ __ _

John Laurens continued to walk to his bedroom. He let out a sigh, he looked over to see a picture of him and his mother.

_ __ _

He misses her.

_ __ _

He looked over to the next picture frame, it was him with his ex-girlfriend. He put the picture frame down.

_ __ _

It only lasted 4 years. They started to date when John was 25 years old. Their relationship was toxic. Always screaming and fighting. The only time they thought about love was only when they’re having sex.

_ __ _

He broke it off with her after finding out he got her pregnant. He felt trapped. It was his fault.

_ __ _

Rumors spread when John first took a break from singing and stayed away from social media.

_ __ _

_He’s having a mid-life crisis at the age 29! His father is mentally abusing him! He’s having a family with his backup singer?! He abuses cigarettes and alcohol?!___

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

But Alexander Hamilton never believed in that shit. He knew it wasn’t true. He won’t believe in it.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

He idolizes him.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

What if I got tickets to a John Laurens concert in New York? Would you go out for your birthday?

_ _ _ _Peggy said as she chewed on her gum._ _ _ _

Of course!! Who would I be without John Laurens. Alex told her with excitement as she finished painting his nails.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Fine! I’ll waste my money on you because you’re my sugar slut. Peggy said and grabbed her phone to search up concert tickets.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

I thought it was sugar baby. Alexander murmured and looked over her shoulder.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

It’s the same thing! She said and found some tickets online, How about on January 13th? She asked him.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

That’s perfect. How much are they? He asked her.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Expensive.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

I can pay for my ticket, Pegs. Alexander softly said.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Nope! I’m going to give you the best birthday!-You do realize when you were 10, John Laurens was 18 right? He’s literally 8 years older than you. Why are into old men? She questioned him.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

I just like mature men! Quit judging me! Alexander turned red from embarrassment. Peggy laughed, Alright! Alright- you owe me something big on my birthday. She continued as she paid for the tickets.

_ _ _ _Alexander gave his best friend a tight hug from behind, Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! He was filled with joy. He was going to see his idol live._ _ _ _

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Peggy hugged him back, Happy early birthday, Lion.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Thank you so much, Pegs! He hugged her tighter.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

C-Can’t breath, Dipshit!

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Alexander then pulled himself away from her, What would I do with you, Margarita. He sarcastically asked.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Probably writing fanfication about John Laurens.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

_[alexiq]: johnlaurens just posted a photo._

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Alexander quickly grabbed his phone, Alex! Your nails haven’t dried up yet! Peggy scolded. The freckled boy ignored her and looked what the music artist posted.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

**johnlaurens** _Don’t miss #ThePoisonTree Tour. Get your tickets johnlaurens.com/tour_

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

I cannot wait! Do you think he might come out with a new album?!

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Alex, I literally don’t care. I’m not obsessed with him like you are. Peggy shrugged as she ate some potato chips

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

But you like his music-

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

You’re crazy.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

The two laughed out loud.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _


	2. The Poison Tree.

Look, I’ll send some money for you. You don’t have to worry about anything, Martha. Laurens calmly said over the phone as soon as he got to his hotel.

I do need to worry! Are you fucking kidding me?! What if the world finds out? What if the world wants to take my baby girl away from me!? I don’t want her to be a part of _your_ life!__ _ _ Martha Manning yelled at him through the phone._ _

_ __ _

And she won’t be. I promise, Ms. Manning. He tried to tell her as he put his luggage on the hotel bed. He decided to take a look at the new place as he talked to Martha.

_ __ _

Don’t call me that, _selfish prick._

_ __ _

She hung up on him. He felt sick when she called him _that._ He bit his bottom lip as his hand ran through his short wavy dirty blonde hair. His blue-green eyes looked empty. He felt _empty._

_ __ _

Laurens then grabbed his phone when he felt it vibrate. Another dm from a _supporter._ He opened it up and read it.

_ __ _

**alexiq:** _ I cannot wait to see you in NY!_

_ __ _

John doubled tapped it to like the message and closed his phone. He usually responds to people who supported him. By responding, he only reads their message and like it.

_ __ _

But he still felt _guilty._

_ __ _

He always felt guilty. When he meets them on the street. When they send him gifts. When they send him letters and messages about how John saved their lives.

_ __ _

He don’t deserve it. He didn’t saved their lives. He took their lives.

_ __ _

He would rather be dead instead of living this life.

_ __ _

Why were people praising him when he was just a normal guy? Why was he getting this special treatment? Other people need it more than him. There are people who are living on the streets. There are people who are struggling with finances. There are people who are getting shot and killed for being themselves.

_ __ _

He doesn’t deserve it.

_ __ _

What if the world found about his problems? He isn’t good as his audience thinks.

_ __ _

They’d be disgusted with him if the media found out.

_ __ _

John‘s trapped. He’s trapped in the persona the media has given him.

_ __ _

Fuck. He cursed under his breath. He got up and searched through his bag. He finally found what he was looking for, his cigarettes.

_ __ _

He opened the small pack and threw one into his mouth before lighting it with a lighter. It took him years to master that skill. He knew it was wrong to do this. He could develop some sort of disease but he didn’t care. He’s going to die later either way.

_ __ _

John exhaled after pulling the cigarette away from his mouth. He let out a small cough but continued.

_ __ _

Then his phone rang.

_ __ _

Ello? He answered the call.

_ __ _

You should be resting your voice for tomorrow. You’re not smoking those cigarettes, are you? He heard his father disappointedly sighed. 

_ __ _

John was about to laugh at that, his father loved to smoke in his free time. Hypocrite.

_ __ _

Remember, no one can know about Martha-

_ __ _

They’re already spreading rumors on social media.

_ __ _

Ignore it. His father sternly said.

_ __ _

Right, sir.

_ __ _

I’ll see you tomorrow for your concert. Don’t mess up. If you do-

_ __ _

I know what happens. You don’t need to remind every single time I perform. John cut him off.

_ __ _

Very well. I love you, son. Good luck. Henry said with no emotion. He sounded like he was forced to say it to John. He hung up.

_ __ _

John usually don’t sleep. He’d stay up and work on new songs or albums. He’d never sleep and rest even for a bit.

_ __ _

He thought about getting a parakeet. He always wanted one for a pet, but right now, he was just very lonely and he wants a friend since he really couldn’t communicate with other people.

_ __ _

He soon realized he couldn’t even take care of himself, how was he supposed to take care of a bird.

_ __ _

He can still dream at least. He has tons of pictures of parakeets in his gallery. He has a sticker on his phone case. He draws the small birds in his free time.

_ __ _

Maybe I should just get one... John mumbled to himself then yawned. He soon rested his eyes for a bit before falling asleep. 

_ __ _

Ugh!! Why does it need to be so cold today! Like- Out of all days! Alexander complained, Peggy and him waited on line for the concert. Oh- Shut up! I asked if it was okay! You said yes! Peggy told him. Alexander shrugged.

_ __ _

The long line was filled with edgy teenagers and young adults. New York was getting colder and colder each day. Thank god, it was inside a venue. The two waited outside for hours but they finally got inside.

_ __ _

Alexander smiled to himself as he looked at the envelope on his hand, he then put it inside his bag so he won’t lose it.

_ __ _

I wonder how expensive is this building. He then said, More than your life, that’s for sure. Peggy sluggishly replied. You’re mostly likely correct. He then said. He looked over to the merch store. They were selling shirts, hoodies, hats and keychains that John Laurens designed himself.

_ __ _

Ugh. Stop looking at those- The tickets were expensive enough and now you want some expensive hoodie? Peggy groaned as she looked at Alexander. But look at it! He begged, Fine but only a keychain since the hoodies and shirts are mad expensive! Peggy sighed and Alexander dragged her over there.

_ __ _

I swear, Alex. We’re going to be living on the streets in New York. Peggy murmured as she paid off the two matching keychains. She got one for herself even though she doesn’t consider herself a fan of John Laurens.

_ __ _

We’ll be fine. Alexander smiled at her, Thank you, again. He thanked her and Peggy shook her head, You deserve this after the hell you’ve been through. She told him as she led the way into the venue.

_ __ _

Shit. A lot of teenagers. Peggy cursed as she saw so many teens already there. It was already filled with people. The two went to find their seats, Alexander! Over here! Peggy grabbed Alexander’s wrist and rushed over there before it gets crowded. Good view of the stage. She said and Alexander nodded, he was feeling exhilarated as each minute passed by.

_ __ _

Suddenly, all of the lights turned off. Loud screams and cheers from everyone. People used their flashlights from their phones and they started to record.

_ __ _

Can we please get _A Moment of Silence._ Everyone obeyed and stayed quiet. Well, most.

_ __ _

Alexander always wondered why this song was in every single of John’s albums. It was just 30 seconds of nothing. He didn’t mind though, he was just curious.

_ __ _

Suddenly, a group of people wearing masks walked up stage. Everyone loudly screamed, Alexander held and gripped onto Peggy’s hand to contain his excitement.

_ __ _

The band got their instruments ready, everyone wore an black attires with these strange masks covering their faces. Once everyone on stage adjusted, a man walked on stage and stood in front of the microphone stand.

_ __ _

It’s him! Alexander told Peggy and she playfully rolled her eyes at him.

_ __ _

The front man grabbed his acoustic guitar and put the strap over his shoulder, he then took his mask and everyone screamed as the saw John Laurens behind the mask.

_ __ _

Shh... John tried to calm down the crowd without being a dick. He then started to play his guitar, he then looked backstage, Sorry, can you lower it? I’m feeling a bit self-conscious. It’s too loud. He said as continued to play his guitar, they lowered the sound of his guitar for him.

_ __ _

Everyone cheered as soon as John began to sing, _If you got dreams—You keep...And you’re leaving me...___

_ __ _

_ __I’ll see you in the next life... I’ll set you free— _ Alexander softly sung along with him including everyone who came here to see John but most didn’t know the lyrics._ _

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

_To find your promise land, if you’re leaving me— It’s really sad- Mm, it’s really sad. ‘Cause our love—is lyin’ on a fallow field- it’s the see that you saw, scattered with the fallen ships..._ Alexander then realized that John changed up his lyrics, maybe he forgotten his own lyrics to his song. _If you got dreams— you keep...’Cause you’re leavin’ me... I’ll see you in the next life... don’t follow me, to the poison tree, that grew up next to me— It’s really sad, it’s really sad..._

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

John continued to sing his song as he played the guitar, _’Cause our love... is lyin’ on a fallow field- It’s the sea that you saw, scattered with the fallen ships, Of a last—crusade—_

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

_To save me from myself..._ He sung. Alexander noticed something off when he sung that last bit of the song. His voice sounded off when he sung the ending of his.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Alexander’s thoughts got cut off as the singer spoke into the mic once he finished performing, Hello- John only said one word and the whole crowd cheered including Peggy and Alex.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Shh... I don’t want y’all to lose your voices the next day. John told his audience and tried to keep them quiet.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

YOU’RE HOT AS FUCK!

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

John’s eyes widen as someone shouted that, This is a family friendly show! He then said to them, Or is it? He then joked. Peggy winked at Alex and he turned red. Everyone was shrieked with laughter.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Shh... You’re shouting so hard. John couldn’t stop smiling as everyone screamed.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Alexander then took his phone out to record, he then thought of something. He looked at Peggy, I’m going to throw my phone!! Peggy looked at him as if he was crazy. Alexander _is_ crazy.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

What’s my favorite Lady Gaga song? Hm. John then thought about it, Too many good songs. Love them all. He then answered his fan’s question.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Alexander then happily throw his phone on stage.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

John heard it and looked behind him, That sounded heavy-That’s your phone! What are you doing? He said and went over and picked up Alexander’s phone. He then walked over to Alex and Peggy at the other side of the stage.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Oo~ It’s open. John said to the crowd and they all laughed. Everyone had their eyes on Alexander. He never felt so many pairs of eyes staring at him.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Who should I call, Mr—? The music artist questioned.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Alexander Hamilton. Alexander blushed as his idol spoke to him.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Alright, Alexander. Who should we call?— No one because it is 10:42pm. John then said and gave Alex back his phone.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

John was about to go back to the center of the stage, Wait!! Can you sing a late happy birthday song to him!? It was his birthday two days ago! Peggy yelled out to him.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

The singer looked back at the two, Oh! Happy late birthday! How old did you turned? Will you be getting a new phone for your birthday? He asked Alexander.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

21! Alexander shouted so he can hear him.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

The big 21! You can now legally drink! Lemme tell you a secret, I took my first sip of alcohol when I was 14. Don’t tell anyone. John told Alexander as everyone laughed, even though, he was speaking into the mic. Alright, let’s sing happy late birthday to Alexander. Alexander never felt so happy. It felt like it was dream, he wished to never wake up.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Okay! 3, 2, 1– HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALEXANDER! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! Everyone sung. Alexander never felt so abashed, he never gotten this attention on him before.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

As soon as everyone calmed down, John then into Alexander’s direction, Um, happy late birthday. Thank you for being here, I’m grateful for that. Make sure to not drink too much and get that phone fix. He told Alexander before going back to the center of the stage.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Peggy gave Alexander a hug, Anybody else’s birthday? John asked his audience. Everyone raised their hands. He pointed to a girl in the crowd, You. What is your name? He asked.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Um- Martha. The girl answered.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

You have the same name as my sister. Is it actually your birthday? John then questioned.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

In 6 months?! I don’t appreciate you lying to me. Laurens said to her but chuckled, Anyway, it is a pleasure to meet you. He said the young girl. 

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Everyday is a birthday! Moving on. Happy Birthday- John cut himself off as someone threw an egg right at him. The yolk ruined his black hoodie.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Everyone got quiet, they all expected for John to be mad or upset and they can’t blame him for that.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Woah! Good shot, buddy! John said and winked to whoever threw an egg at him as he wiped off the eggshells off his hoodie.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Alexander then realized that John wasn’t like other celebrities, he was nice and sweet to everyone. To his fans. To people who hate him.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

He was kind and sweet to _everyone._

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Okay! Okay! I think we should get started. John said into the mic as he checked the time on his phone.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

He looked behind him to talk with his lead guitarist while the other members just adjusted. Once they were ready, they started to play then John finally started to sing. He continued to sing for the rest of the concert.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Once John was done with the concert, he head back stage while the band continued to play until everyone left.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

He checked his phone and saw that his ex girlfriend texted multiple times. He sighed before putting his phone away.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

She’s still texting you?

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

John turned around and saw his lead guitarist, Francis Kinloch, Yeah, I’m kinda stuck with her. He told him. 

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Francis just shook his head, Sometimes, I worry for you. He said to him.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

You shouldn’t. I’m perfectly fine. John then assured him.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

You’re not. You’re lying to yourself and to everyone.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Franz, I’m fine. Really. No need to worry about me. John held his hand and gave him an assuring smile.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Francis just looked at him before quickly pulling his hand away as someone knocked on the door, John! You have your meet and greet in 2 minutes!

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Um, you should go. Francis awkwardly told him.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Right, I’ll see you later. John gave him one last smile before leaving.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Francis sighed before leaving the as well.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

The meet and greet was fun, John got cookies, artworks of himself but in all different styles, and some teenager even gave him a condom.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Even though he got something different from a different person he never met before, he still had that same feeling. He couldn’t get rid of it.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Until he met someone familiar.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Hi. Alexander, right? John questioned.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

His friend elbowed him, He remembers your name! She whispered to him but John could still hear them.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Alexander turned red, his freckles made an remarkable appearance. John admired them, he tried to come up ways to describe his freckles.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

_Sun’s kisses, angels’ kisses, sparkles or speckles_

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

His thoughts were cut off short by Alexander and his friend asking for a picture. John nodded, Of course.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

He didn’t felt _it._

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

He was distracted.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Um, John, can I get a hug?

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

John looked at Alexander, Oh! Yeah, sure.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

The singer then wrapped his arms around the shorter man and pulled him into his embrace.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Alexander felt like he was going to faint at this very moment. He heard his friend laughing at him but he didn’t care. Alex quickly noticed how _good_

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Unfortunately, John pulled away from the hug, Are you okay? He asked Alex.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Alexander then felt a wave of emotions, Y-Yeah! I-It’s just I’ve been a fan of you since the beginning. S-sorry, I’m such a loser. He felt himself tearing up.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

John gave him another hug and gently rubbed his back, No, no, no. You’re not a loser. Don’t say that.He said to him and continued to comfort him.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

The two pulled away from each other’s embrace, Alexander then went through his bag to give John something, Um, Alexander awkwardly said as he sniffed and gave him the envelope.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Thank you, John said with a smile and it made Alexander’s legs go wobbly, Get home safe. Be careful, it’s cold out in New York. He told Alexander and it made him let out a small giggle, You too. The freckled redhead replied then he left as he wiped his tears away and Peggy followed along. 

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

I didn’t expected you to cry. I never seen you cry before. Peggy snickered.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Shut up.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _


End file.
